Frank Martin (Jason Statham) is tired of the game, so much so that when we catch up with him he's busy living the quiet European life of classy cars, well tailored suits, and his solitary French police friend. He's since retired from the business on his own terms, and went out on top, having never failed to reach his destination. Well, that is until his walls come crumbling down, quite literally. A friend he referred an interested business partner to crashes through his swank Euro pad in the same fancy car coupled with some Euro bitch we know nothing about. As his friend takes his last breath, before exploding fantastically in an ambulance en route to a hospital, he tells Frank little. Frank is then left responsible for a naive young girl (like always) and is being forced to take one last job, forced because he is rigged to a special handcuff that blows him up should he exceed a specific distance from his car. The plot follows some sort of kidnap, government, chemical weapon mumbo jumbo that is best left far away from analysis. You only really care about how awesome Statham looks and with what grace he disposes of his foes, right?
Well dear Transporter friends, I've got some alarming news for you. Those of you left let down by the second films ridiculously over the top shenanigans won't be any more pleased with this outing. Olivier Megaton (yes, that's his real name) doesn't seem to possess any of the skills of the former directors Cory Yuen and Louis Letterier (Incredible Hulk). The fight scenes might be palpable had they been edited in some coherent fashion. This time, instead of graceful deliberate bad ass fight scenes, we get chopped together, what the fuck is going on, rubbish. Oh, and where there were some shreds of credibility in the first film, it gets thrown completely out the window between the floating cars in water and then landing them on top of train mayhem this bad boy has in store for you.
But it's not totally terrible. Jason Statham does look as awesome as ever and carries the same "I can kill you swagger" he always has. He's dudded up, as handsome as ever, and provides one of the most harmonious bringing the men and women together in the cinema moments I've witnessed. In one scene, Statham takes on a gang of thugs in true martial arts Statham-fashion using only his suit as a weapon. That's right ladies, the clothes come off as he dispatches of baddies in a truly unique fashion.
But aside from a few inspired moments the film has the most unattractive annoying Euro lassy riding shotgun, a dumb plot, and far too little of what made this franchise good in the first place. Not even Prison Break's Robert Knepper doing his best Gary Oldman from The Professional impression saves this thing.
Review by: Greg MacLennan
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