Look, contrary to all rumors I am not a 13-year-old boy. While I can enjoy video games and action movies like the guys, I reach my limit when I watch a movie that is oh-so clearly targeted at pubescent boys (or older fanboys of a book series). Ender's Game is just such a film. Not to say that the film doesn't have its moments, but I'm just really, really, really not the right demographic here, folks.
I'm not all-that familiar with Ender's Game books. I have mainly only heard rumblings that its author, Orson Scott Card, is a raging homophobe. (Side note: he had nothing to do with the movie, apparently, and the studio is urging people to not let Card's awful views spoil your attendance at the movie.)
But, anyhoo. I digress. The movie takes place 50 years after an alien race almost wiped out Earth until a heroic pilot saved our planet. Now, children are being trained at a young age in the hopes of becoming the next Messiah to save the humans. Ender (Asa Buttefield) is a shy, weird little dude who also happens to be crazy smart and gifted in strategy and tactical maneuvers, so Colonel Graff (Harrison Ford at his gruffest) and psychologist Major Anderson (Viola Davis) have decided he's "THE ONE." They, therefore, ship him off to combat school up in space in the hopes of training him to become a great general.
Up in combat school, Ender is faced with more bullies, basic boot camp-type training, and a Quidditch/Paintball/Pong hybrid game in zero-g that somehow determines which child is the best leader/soldier/savior of the human race.
So, basically, to sum up everything I just said: Ender's Game is essentially Harry Potter mixed with Star Wars mixed with children playing paintball mixed with The Matrix. Sure, many of those things came out well AFTER the books were published in 1985, but Ender's Game (the movie) might suffer the same troubles as John Carter did: so many people have ripped it off before its adaptation made it to the screen that it just seems completely recycled itself.
Okay, this isn't to say the movie is bad. It isn't. The visual effects are really quite cool. There are definitely some themes in Ender's Game that are a wee bit heavy, making it slightly MORE intelligent than your average movie for teens. There are even some amazing actors in the film—I already mentioned Ford and Davis, and Sir Ben FUCKING Kingsley even pops up.
Buuuuuut...the movie is anchored by pre-pubescent boys that are just really hella awkward in their changing bodies, and it's super hard to take Ender seriously when he's facing off against Colonel Graff as he has the gangliest of mannerisms. Maybe I'm just being an asshole here, though?
Ender's Game feels much like many of the blockbusters thrown our way this summer: bloated and kinda cold. It's not bad, but it sure ain't great. Did you hear that About Time is also opening this weekend? Go see that instead.
—Darcie Duttweiler
I'm not all-that familiar with Ender's Game books. I have mainly only heard rumblings that its author, Orson Scott Card, is a raging homophobe. (Side note: he had nothing to do with the movie, apparently, and the studio is urging people to not let Card's awful views spoil your attendance at the movie.)
But, anyhoo. I digress. The movie takes place 50 years after an alien race almost wiped out Earth until a heroic pilot saved our planet. Now, children are being trained at a young age in the hopes of becoming the next Messiah to save the humans. Ender (Asa Buttefield) is a shy, weird little dude who also happens to be crazy smart and gifted in strategy and tactical maneuvers, so Colonel Graff (Harrison Ford at his gruffest) and psychologist Major Anderson (Viola Davis) have decided he's "THE ONE." They, therefore, ship him off to combat school up in space in the hopes of training him to become a great general.
Up in combat school, Ender is faced with more bullies, basic boot camp-type training, and a Quidditch/Paintball/Pong hybrid game in zero-g that somehow determines which child is the best leader/soldier/savior of the human race.
So, basically, to sum up everything I just said: Ender's Game is essentially Harry Potter mixed with Star Wars mixed with children playing paintball mixed with The Matrix. Sure, many of those things came out well AFTER the books were published in 1985, but Ender's Game (the movie) might suffer the same troubles as John Carter did: so many people have ripped it off before its adaptation made it to the screen that it just seems completely recycled itself.
Okay, this isn't to say the movie is bad. It isn't. The visual effects are really quite cool. There are definitely some themes in Ender's Game that are a wee bit heavy, making it slightly MORE intelligent than your average movie for teens. There are even some amazing actors in the film—I already mentioned Ford and Davis, and Sir Ben FUCKING Kingsley even pops up.
Buuuuuut...the movie is anchored by pre-pubescent boys that are just really hella awkward in their changing bodies, and it's super hard to take Ender seriously when he's facing off against Colonel Graff as he has the gangliest of mannerisms. Maybe I'm just being an asshole here, though?
Ender's Game feels much like many of the blockbusters thrown our way this summer: bloated and kinda cold. It's not bad, but it sure ain't great. Did you hear that About Time is also opening this weekend? Go see that instead.
—Darcie Duttweiler
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