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“HOP” is little more than a steaming pile of jelly beans

4/1/2011

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Hop movie
I agreed to see HOP for two reasons:
1. My ladyfriend is obsessed with Russell Brand, who voices the film’s CG-bunny lead.
2. I’m a movie masochist.

But what I saw was something unexpected. HOP is on par with the finest computer-animated films out of Pixar. An intelligent kids’ movie? Could it really exist? HOP is a near perfectly crafted film about living up to expectations with an overarching metaphor about American consumerism, thoughtful commentary on the growing gulf between rich and poor, some clever observations about racism, and a small but brilliant nod to Kurosawa—all covered in a colorful candy-coating to make it enjoyable for the kids.

No, I kid. HOP was awful; It didn’t even seem to play well to our mostly kiddo-filled theater.

HOP is from the people that made Alvin and the Chipmunks and Despicable Me. I’ve never seen either of those, but if they’re anything like HOP, I’m assuming you’ve probably already stopped reading this review halfway through this sentence.

Russell Brand voices the soon-to-be crowned Easter Bunny, a teen-aged rabbit named E.B. (for Easter Bunny—get it?) who wants to play drums and has little desire to live up to his father’s royal expectations. James Marsden (Cyclops from the X-Men movies) plays the human counterpoint to Brand’s bunny, a 20-something slacker living at his parent’s house until his father (Gary Cole) gives him the boot. The parallels of trying to please daddy go on for a while and then it ends.

There was some cutesy colorful stuff at the beginning, but the real world, live-action aspect sucks the fun out of HOP. The funniest gag in the movie involves the fact that the Easter bunny shits jelly beans. I chuckled.

(An aside here: I’m not a religious person, but I’ve got to ask—Christians, how did you guys let people hijack your holiday and turn it a pagan celebration of future diabetes and cavities? I’m offended for you. If the Easter Bunny didn’t exist, the world would have one less craptastic kids’ movie.)

HOP is little more than a steaming pile of poo-flavored jelly beans and can be best summed up by something my lady told me as we were leaving the theater: “So that’s why they don’t make movies about Easter.”

—Eric Pulsifer
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