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Harry Potter and the Overlong and Slightly Boring Hallows

11/18/2010

2 Comments

 
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
I’m not, you know, the world’s craziest Harry Potter fan. My friends have called me out when I’ve nerdily explained what certain wizard spells are, but I haven’t read the books multiple times or dressed up like Hermione for release parties or anything. But, I’ve loved being immersed in the Potter world, growing with these characters, and learning all about the mythology surrounding the events.

So, that being said, I’m not ashamed to say that the Harry Potter flicks could really benefit from employing a freakin’ recap every once and a while. Seriously. As I sat down for the latest installment, the first of the last, I realized I had no fucking clue what was going on. As a fan of the books and the movies, that should say something.

As the film wore on, I continually realized that I still had no clue what was going on, and, frankly, I was getting bored and restless. I thought, “Surely the Harry Potter films couldn’t have peaked like four films ago, right?” No. I was totally right. Sadly, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 isn’t anywhere on par with the Alfonso Cuarón chapter.  It’s just utterly and completely half of a movie…

Read more after the jump!

I understand that The Deathly Hallows is a long book. It is. It has so many characters and events in it. But, honestly, this film could have easily been boiled down to 45 minutes, an hour tops. It’s just all exposition leading up to the final showdown of Voldemort and Harry Potter, and it rambles on and on. The Order of the Phoenix is a much longer book and was only one film, so I don’t understand the need other than greed from the studios. Whatever.  

Part One shows Harry, Hermione, and Ron traveling through the English countryside in search of the final horcruxes, the objects that contain Voldemort’s soul. Problem is: no one knows what they are or where they are, and Dumbledore left no clues in his will to help speed Harry’s quest. So, the trio must constantly move about in order to evade Voldemort’s growing army and try not to get on each other’s nerves. That’s it. That’s the whole film. It leads up to a weak climax that was never meant to be a finale of any kind.

Some might say that Part One is sort of the Empire Strikes Back of the Harry Potter franchise. It’s a dark film that ends with the heroes being slightly broken with no resolution. HOWEVER. Empire Strikes Back had the benefit of having one of the biggest twists in history in its conclusion. Part One shares no such luck. It is truly half of a film, and one that is incredibly overlong and bloated. I can easily sit through three hours of a Lord of the Rings film, but 140 minutes of Part One dragged on….and on...and on………… You get my drift.

It’s not that the film is bad. It’s not the worst piece of shit I’ve ever seen or anything (thank you, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen). It’s just disappointing given how seriously great some of the previous Potter films have been.  And it completely wastes some of the most talented British actors of this generation: Rhys Ifans, Bill Nighy, Alan Rickman, Helena Bonham Carter, David Thewlis, and more. Plus, even with its bloated running time, it’s too jam-packed with characters. I have completely forgotten about Lupin’s girlfriend. Oh, wait, Dobby’s back? Thanks for reminding me who the fuck that is.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One could possibly appease the truly diehard Potter fans, but it won’t hold the interest of anyone who’s never drawn a lightning bolt on their forehead and sang Sorting Hat songs with their friends.

--Darcie Duttweiler
2 Comments
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