I am going to begin this review with two disclaimers: First, you must believe me when I say that I had every single fiber of my being focused on suppressing my prejudices against comedies "for the whole family." Secondly, you must also believe me when I say that this truly was going to be an admittedly snarky twenty-something's attempt to objectively evaluate this "family-friendly comedy" and provide helpful information for the film's target audience. This is the story of how I failed.
Actually, read about how Furry Vengeance failed ME after the jump...
Actually, read about how Furry Vengeance failed ME after the jump...
The only way I can even begin to comprehend how such a harmless--albeit sort of stupid--film concept could be dragged through the dirt and turned into an insult to "family comedies" everywhere is to transcribe the meeting that must have occurred between movie execs and their casting director (in my head):
Movie Exec: "Right, right okay we've got to nail down a real funnyman for this role--it's HILARIOUS!"
Casting Director: "Well, who did you have in mind?"
Movie Exec: "Get me Will Fucking Ferrell!"
Casting Director: "Ooo sorry. Will's got standards now. What about...Brendan Fraser?"
Movie Exec: "I don't know--isn't he too handsome adventure for this?"
Casting Director: "Brendan Fraser's FAT now!"
Movie Exec: "HILARIOUS! Sign him!"
Scene
So this cinematic brain trust of Furry Vengeance casts fat ass Fraser as Dan Sanders, a "green" real estate developer whose job is to mow down a forest and put up a bunch of houses while living in a model home in the development with his family. Dan's wife, Tammy (played by Brooke Shields, proudly taking a break from hawking snake oil remedies that grow lashes) and their teenage son, Tyler (Matt Prokop) miss their old life in Chicago and resent Dan for moving them in order to further his career in one of many storylines that is ill-developed throughout the film. Little do the Sanders know...their lives are about to be turned upside down by a pack of zany forest creatures who want to block the development of the forest! HILARITY ENSUES.
Except it doesn't. Furry Vengeance is like that dorky kid that tries way too hard to act like its hip peers (ie: Up!, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs). The film wants so badly to appeal to both kids with cute animal hi-jinks and adults with "Angela" from The Office and "that funny Asian guy" from The Hangover as characters, (I'd name these two actors in this review but I assume that they would like to disassociate themselves from this project in any way possible) that it collapses under the weight of over-wrought physical comedy and awful attempts at pop culture jokes into an obnoxious pile of rubble that made me embarrassed for anyone laughing at the (one of many) "pee-pee" jokes in the theater.
Any hope the film has of delivering a "green" message about taking care of our natural resources diminishes as one begins to pray that the animals are slaughtered and the forests get mowed down just so one does not have to experience one more cutesy animal trap that results in Fraser either getting peed on, kicked/bitten/rammed in the nuts, or shat on by birds. By the time the bear knocks over a port-o-potty with Dan inside, even the 8-year-old girl next to me was rolling her eyes and groaning, proving that even small children have some taste (a detail writers of Furry Vengeance seem to have overlooked).
Yes, you are going to get those people in the crowds who laugh no matter how many times the main character gets zonked in the balls. It's just I can't shake this sneaking suspicion those members of the audience who couldn't stop laughing were either pre-teen boys or drunk parents, because after a while even my 8-year-old friend wasn't buying into it. In fact, when I wasn't rolling my eyes in disgust, I looked around the theater. Most of the younger crowd and sober adults seemed just as disappointed with the recycled jokes and half-assed attempts at sub-plots amongst minor characters as I was.
Ultimately Furry Vengeance plays out like an episode of Jackass...except two hours long and with an ending that, unfortunately for everyone, leaves no animals or people seriously injured.
--Jessica Hixson
Movie Exec: "Right, right okay we've got to nail down a real funnyman for this role--it's HILARIOUS!"
Casting Director: "Well, who did you have in mind?"
Movie Exec: "Get me Will Fucking Ferrell!"
Casting Director: "Ooo sorry. Will's got standards now. What about...Brendan Fraser?"
Movie Exec: "I don't know--isn't he too handsome adventure for this?"
Casting Director: "Brendan Fraser's FAT now!"
Movie Exec: "HILARIOUS! Sign him!"
Scene
So this cinematic brain trust of Furry Vengeance casts fat ass Fraser as Dan Sanders, a "green" real estate developer whose job is to mow down a forest and put up a bunch of houses while living in a model home in the development with his family. Dan's wife, Tammy (played by Brooke Shields, proudly taking a break from hawking snake oil remedies that grow lashes) and their teenage son, Tyler (Matt Prokop) miss their old life in Chicago and resent Dan for moving them in order to further his career in one of many storylines that is ill-developed throughout the film. Little do the Sanders know...their lives are about to be turned upside down by a pack of zany forest creatures who want to block the development of the forest! HILARITY ENSUES.
Except it doesn't. Furry Vengeance is like that dorky kid that tries way too hard to act like its hip peers (ie: Up!, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs). The film wants so badly to appeal to both kids with cute animal hi-jinks and adults with "Angela" from The Office and "that funny Asian guy" from The Hangover as characters, (I'd name these two actors in this review but I assume that they would like to disassociate themselves from this project in any way possible) that it collapses under the weight of over-wrought physical comedy and awful attempts at pop culture jokes into an obnoxious pile of rubble that made me embarrassed for anyone laughing at the (one of many) "pee-pee" jokes in the theater.
Any hope the film has of delivering a "green" message about taking care of our natural resources diminishes as one begins to pray that the animals are slaughtered and the forests get mowed down just so one does not have to experience one more cutesy animal trap that results in Fraser either getting peed on, kicked/bitten/rammed in the nuts, or shat on by birds. By the time the bear knocks over a port-o-potty with Dan inside, even the 8-year-old girl next to me was rolling her eyes and groaning, proving that even small children have some taste (a detail writers of Furry Vengeance seem to have overlooked).
Yes, you are going to get those people in the crowds who laugh no matter how many times the main character gets zonked in the balls. It's just I can't shake this sneaking suspicion those members of the audience who couldn't stop laughing were either pre-teen boys or drunk parents, because after a while even my 8-year-old friend wasn't buying into it. In fact, when I wasn't rolling my eyes in disgust, I looked around the theater. Most of the younger crowd and sober adults seemed just as disappointed with the recycled jokes and half-assed attempts at sub-plots amongst minor characters as I was.
Ultimately Furry Vengeance plays out like an episode of Jackass...except two hours long and with an ending that, unfortunately for everyone, leaves no animals or people seriously injured.
--Jessica Hixson
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