I am going to begin this review with two disclaimers: First, you must believe me when I say that I had every single fiber of my being focused on suppressing my prejudices against comedies "for the whole family." Secondly, you must also believe me when I say that this truly was going to be an admittedly snarky twenty-something's attempt to objectively evaluate this "family-friendly comedy" and provide helpful information for the film's target audience. This is the story of how I failed.

Actually, read about how Furry Vengeance failed ME after the jump...

Tim Burton and children’s story books. For me this combination hasn’t worked so well in the past (cough, Charlie Bucket). But, by the time the cute little Dormouse plunges his sword into a Bandersnatch's eyeball, rips the beast's eye meatout of its socket and carries the trophy around on his belt, it becomes more than apparent that Burton's creation is NOT the Disney Alice of the 1950s. And that makes this pairing of the whimsical tale and the dark, quirky director all the better.

DON'T WORRY THAT YOU JUST LEFT YOUR KIDS HOME ALONE WITH DRUGS--READ MORE AFTER THE JUMP!

In Saint John of Las Vegas John Alighieri (Steve Buscemi) is a compulsive ex-gambler who had a bit of luck in Las Vegas once.Then his luck ran out, and he found himself driving as far away from Sin City as his last tank of gas would take him. Still wrestling with his addiction and searching for a new sense of purpose in Albuquerque, John instigates a romantic liaison with his coworker Jill (a surprisingly pleasant Sarah Silverman) the same day he finally gains the confidence to seek out a raise.

Instead of an increase in pay John's boss, Mr. Townsend (played by Peter Dinklage), promotes him to fraud investigator. This new job requires John to shadow seasoned fraud employee, Virgil (Romany Malco) on an investigation to disprove an insurance claim for $200,000 in lost wages filed by a now wheelchair-bound stripper, Tasti D Lite (Emmanuelle Chriqui). The plot follows John and Virgil on their journey in the desert outside of Las Vegas where John gains the strength he needs to continue on the path of his new life while the temptation of his former one looms in the distance.

CRIPPLED STRIPPERS AND FLAMING CARNIES AFTER THE JUMP.