I am going to begin this review with two disclaimers: First, you must believe me when I say that I had every single fiber of my being focused on suppressing my prejudices against comedies "for the whole family." Secondly, you must also believe me when I say that this truly was going to be an admittedly snarky twenty-something's attempt to objectively evaluate this "family-friendly comedy" and provide helpful information for the film's target audience. This is the story of how I failed.

Actually, read about how Furry Vengeance failed ME after the jump...

Everyone has dreamed it; just no one has done it. We all want to be super heroes but always seem to find ourselves limited by our general lack of superhero-y abilities and our general discomfort in form fitting clothing. I bet you even know what super power you would have if you had the choice (duh flying). But what Dave Lizewski has done is take his unnoticed high school persona, general lack of any fight training, and intense love for comic books and has made himself significantly more kick ass.

Dave becomes a viral sensation with his green scuba suit and dual wielding batons and serves as the inspiration for other people who want to make a difference. Only problem for Dave is that with great attention comes great foes and he has caught the attention of a local mob boss who sets out to make an example out of his alter ego Kick Ass. Also in the mix are Big Daddy and Hit Girl, who seems to have all the skills to be a masked vigilante, including the ability to remain under the radar until their masked colleague Dave requires aid.

Read more after the jump!

There are certain types of movies that you have to create a different rating system for. There are those genuinely GOOD movies, such as Inglourious Basterds or Fantastic Mr. Fox, those movies that are okay, the movies that are bad, and then there are movies like MacGruber: so fleeting and disposable but pretty watchable (see last week’s Clash of the Titans review). But the thing is, as pretty ho hum as the SNL spinoff is, it’s fairly funny, and (better yet) not as shitty as you think it should be.

Read more about inappropriate uses of celery and the C-word jokes after the jump!

“Release the Kraken!” If that sentence doesn’t send you into a fit of excitement, I don’t know what will—maybe Sam Worthington’s meaty thighs… Anyway; I digress. If you’re a fan of the original Clash of the Titans the “reimaging” will sure to please you. If you’ve never seen the 1981 version but are a fan of ruff ‘n’ tumble action flicks with tons of fires and CGI monsters, you will still be pleased. However, if none of this thrills you, stay far far away.

Read the full Clash of the Titans review after the jump!