What do kids think? My presumptions are probably about as spot on as my guess of what a dog has going on behind the eyes. To get a better idea of what a child might think of Missing Link, the latest stop-motion animated bit of eye candy from Laikia, I sat down for a couple of cheeseburgers and a convo with one of my younger roommates (my six-year-old daughter) to see what she thought of the movie, which I forced her along for. (She’s more of a My Little Pony person.)
Spoiler warning: Six-year-olds don’t care about the concept of spoilers, which is just one of the ways they’re superior to adults. But that’s a subject for another time. Just know that some things she calls out are from the last half of the film, but I steer her away from anything that would likely ruin your spoiler-sensitive viewing experience.
What did you think of the movie?
What movie?
The movie we saw today.
Lost Link?
Missing Link.
Yeah! Missing Link!
Right. What did you think of that movie? What would you tell people about it?
That was the scariest movie, so don’t you dare go to that!
Really? That’s a quote for a movie poster if I’ve ever heard one.
Well, it was a little scary, but really exciting. And I think it’s good. I think that the ending is really nice, but the first part of it is kind of scary. The second part’s really nice, so I think actually … It’s a good movie, and I think other people should watch it.
That might be a bit too long for a poster quote.
What?
Let’s talk about what Missing Link is about.
So this Yaki person wanted to go and…
Wait. What?
What?
What’s a “Yaki”?
The Yaki guy — Link.
I think “Yeti” is what you mean, but he was actually a Sasquat--
This Yaki guy wanted to go to his cousins because he thought they were his cousins. And a girl and a boy decided to come with him and they … [cheeseburger chewing] … they kind of went far away and they got trapped in an area, but they came out because the Yaki throwed the boy up and he crashed, and then he throwed the girl up and she went over it and she climbed on and she got something to get out of the place because they were trapping them for the Yetis they thought were … and then they like ... Oh! [very excited now] They went across the bridge and the bad guys were waiting and they destroyed the bridge and…
Whoa, kid. Let’s leave some points of the plot untouched.
The good guys were safe and they went back home.
Or not.
In the very end, they got like a mermaid-dinosaur picture or something.
A fossil. You’re just really going for it, huh?
And the man I was talking about, he was so excited. And it was the end, and it was really good. The end.
Let’s talk about how the movie looked. Most cartoons you watch are made with computers now. And they use them here, for sure, but this one is also made with little models, like toys they pose made out of Play-Doh. That won’t matter to some people — likely the same savages who see no difference between Keuring and a real cup of coffee. The people at Laika go the extremely hard-to-brew animation route, prioritizing art and tradition over convenience. And it gives all their movies such a beautiful and unique look.
I liked it.
I find that stuff super inspiring, both from a creative and a work ethic standpoint. It’s that JFK-going-to-the-moon pep talk — doing it not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard. Not that it’s even remotely similar, but I recently started using paper for my to-do list and am amazed how often I hear “Why? Just use your phone.” I mean, why should I do anything other than everything on my phone, huh? Just plop a rib-eye in my smart microwave and listen to an algorithm-created playlist while I mindlessly swipe through pictures on my phone. That’s totally the future I dreamed of.
Are you mad, Dad?
No. What did you think when you get a time-lapse glimpse of the work the crew did on one scene in the closing credits? Wasn’t that cool? These people have a surgical attention to detail and such patience. I can barely be bothered to re-read this blog post for simple speling mistaks.
Yeah … Remember when that guy ate cow poop! Hahahahaha!
Yeah, he thought they were cookies. Classic.
Cause the girl said don’t talk about the chicken.
Yeah, because the old woman didn’t realize she had a chicken on her head.
She never knowed? Then she realized? Did she ever realize?
Spoiler warning: Six-year-olds don’t care about the concept of spoilers, which is just one of the ways they’re superior to adults. But that’s a subject for another time. Just know that some things she calls out are from the last half of the film, but I steer her away from anything that would likely ruin your spoiler-sensitive viewing experience.
What did you think of the movie?
What movie?
The movie we saw today.
Lost Link?
Missing Link.
Yeah! Missing Link!
Right. What did you think of that movie? What would you tell people about it?
That was the scariest movie, so don’t you dare go to that!
Really? That’s a quote for a movie poster if I’ve ever heard one.
Well, it was a little scary, but really exciting. And I think it’s good. I think that the ending is really nice, but the first part of it is kind of scary. The second part’s really nice, so I think actually … It’s a good movie, and I think other people should watch it.
That might be a bit too long for a poster quote.
What?
Let’s talk about what Missing Link is about.
So this Yaki person wanted to go and…
Wait. What?
What?
What’s a “Yaki”?
The Yaki guy — Link.
I think “Yeti” is what you mean, but he was actually a Sasquat--
This Yaki guy wanted to go to his cousins because he thought they were his cousins. And a girl and a boy decided to come with him and they … [cheeseburger chewing] … they kind of went far away and they got trapped in an area, but they came out because the Yaki throwed the boy up and he crashed, and then he throwed the girl up and she went over it and she climbed on and she got something to get out of the place because they were trapping them for the Yetis they thought were … and then they like ... Oh! [very excited now] They went across the bridge and the bad guys were waiting and they destroyed the bridge and…
Whoa, kid. Let’s leave some points of the plot untouched.
The good guys were safe and they went back home.
Or not.
In the very end, they got like a mermaid-dinosaur picture or something.
A fossil. You’re just really going for it, huh?
And the man I was talking about, he was so excited. And it was the end, and it was really good. The end.
Let’s talk about how the movie looked. Most cartoons you watch are made with computers now. And they use them here, for sure, but this one is also made with little models, like toys they pose made out of Play-Doh. That won’t matter to some people — likely the same savages who see no difference between Keuring and a real cup of coffee. The people at Laika go the extremely hard-to-brew animation route, prioritizing art and tradition over convenience. And it gives all their movies such a beautiful and unique look.
I liked it.
I find that stuff super inspiring, both from a creative and a work ethic standpoint. It’s that JFK-going-to-the-moon pep talk — doing it not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard. Not that it’s even remotely similar, but I recently started using paper for my to-do list and am amazed how often I hear “Why? Just use your phone.” I mean, why should I do anything other than everything on my phone, huh? Just plop a rib-eye in my smart microwave and listen to an algorithm-created playlist while I mindlessly swipe through pictures on my phone. That’s totally the future I dreamed of.
Are you mad, Dad?
No. What did you think when you get a time-lapse glimpse of the work the crew did on one scene in the closing credits? Wasn’t that cool? These people have a surgical attention to detail and such patience. I can barely be bothered to re-read this blog post for simple speling mistaks.
Yeah … Remember when that guy ate cow poop! Hahahahaha!
Yeah, he thought they were cookies. Classic.
Cause the girl said don’t talk about the chicken.
Yeah, because the old woman didn’t realize she had a chicken on her head.
She never knowed? Then she realized? Did she ever realize?
I’m not sure, but we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves now. Tell me about the Sasquatch (Zach Galifianakis). He’s the last of his kind. He can talk and write, of course, so he reaches out to Sir Lionel Frost (Hugh Jackman), a famous/infamous explorer who travels the world looking to prove the existence of mythical creatures. The talking-writing Sasquatch hopes the explorer can help him track down more of his kind. Hilarity and adventure ensue. Did you like the titular talking Sasquatch?
Yes. He’s Susan. His friends thought it was a girl’s name, and the boy said it fit him. He was good. He saved them.
How about that boy, Sir Lionel Frost?
He wasn’t so good at first. He used to be like a little constative
A little what?
Constative. I kind of don’t know how to say — he only cared about himself in the beginning. But then the girl said that he should care about other people and he only cared about himself. And he learned from his mistake.
Heartwarming. I know you liked Adelina (Zoe Saldana). She’s the widow of one of Sir Lionel’s old explorer buds, and she has a bit of a ... complicated history with Sir Lionel.
She knew him before.
… Yes.
The girl was so nice! She was the one who told Susan to try to grab onto the icicles so they could not fall, and they almost got dead. But they luckily got to climb up the icicles, and they were happily ever safe.
Sir Lionel, Adelina, and Susan go on an Around the World in 80 Days–type global-trotting adventure, but they’re followed by people who want to stop Sir Lionel from making a name for himself by discovering not just one but multiple Sasquatches/Yetis/Bigfeet. Tell me about the bad guys. You were really scared of that one…
Why that bad guy was scary because he wanted to like … Wait. What bad guy?
Well, Lord Piggot-Dunceby (Stephen Fry), the bad boss man with the white hair. He sends a bounty hunter, Willard Stenk (Timothy Olyphant), to stop Sir Lionel …
So the bad guy that tells the other bad guys to go follow these people [Lord P-D] is like, he tells the other bad guy [Stenk] to keep trying to use guns and stuff to kill them, and the girl came along and she got trapped almost because the bad guy holded her and she couldn’t talk for a few minutes. And umm… it was also kind of scary because the bad guy — because the bad guy got her.
Did you think the bad guy might win?
Just for a second, but then I realized he wasn’t.
What was your favorite part?
My favorite part was when the Yeti throwed the boy up on the ice and he just … hahaha ... he just splatted to the ice because he was too heavy. Then he throwed up the girl and she almost crashed.
You mentioned that before, but that was really funny.
Yeah.
Yes. He’s Susan. His friends thought it was a girl’s name, and the boy said it fit him. He was good. He saved them.
How about that boy, Sir Lionel Frost?
He wasn’t so good at first. He used to be like a little constative
A little what?
Constative. I kind of don’t know how to say — he only cared about himself in the beginning. But then the girl said that he should care about other people and he only cared about himself. And he learned from his mistake.
Heartwarming. I know you liked Adelina (Zoe Saldana). She’s the widow of one of Sir Lionel’s old explorer buds, and she has a bit of a ... complicated history with Sir Lionel.
She knew him before.
… Yes.
The girl was so nice! She was the one who told Susan to try to grab onto the icicles so they could not fall, and they almost got dead. But they luckily got to climb up the icicles, and they were happily ever safe.
Sir Lionel, Adelina, and Susan go on an Around the World in 80 Days–type global-trotting adventure, but they’re followed by people who want to stop Sir Lionel from making a name for himself by discovering not just one but multiple Sasquatches/Yetis/Bigfeet. Tell me about the bad guys. You were really scared of that one…
Why that bad guy was scary because he wanted to like … Wait. What bad guy?
Well, Lord Piggot-Dunceby (Stephen Fry), the bad boss man with the white hair. He sends a bounty hunter, Willard Stenk (Timothy Olyphant), to stop Sir Lionel …
So the bad guy that tells the other bad guys to go follow these people [Lord P-D] is like, he tells the other bad guy [Stenk] to keep trying to use guns and stuff to kill them, and the girl came along and she got trapped almost because the bad guy holded her and she couldn’t talk for a few minutes. And umm… it was also kind of scary because the bad guy — because the bad guy got her.
Did you think the bad guy might win?
Just for a second, but then I realized he wasn’t.
What was your favorite part?
My favorite part was when the Yeti throwed the boy up on the ice and he just … hahaha ... he just splatted to the ice because he was too heavy. Then he throwed up the girl and she almost crashed.
You mentioned that before, but that was really funny.
Yeah.
What else should people know about Missing Link?
At the beginning, the boy didn’t know where Missing Link was. He was running away from his real house. And then he told the boy that I think the Yetis that lived far away from him was his cousins. And then he went all the way there to get trapped.
Yeah. And what is the missing link?
He was the missing… quee … between… evolution. Done.
That’s it?
Yeah.
Do you think Bigfoot is real?
No. That foot was just glass!
You mean the cast of the imprint that Sir Lionel had? That was a copy of his Susan’s real footprint. He was real. I mean, he’s the star of the movi--
I want to find one and yell at it. Bigfeet aren’t real.
Well, big feet are real, like elephant feet.
Those aren’t feet. Those are hooves.
I’m pretty sure elephants have feet, not hooves.
No. Hooves. [Note: They're feet. I Googled it.]
OK. Let’s move on. Did you like Missing Link more or less than The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, the last movie we saw in theaters?
I liked it a tiny bit better because it wasn’t that scary. Cause Lego Number 2 was kind of scary. And I think we shouldn’t … And I think I was a little scared of that one. But this one I kind of liked a little better, because it was nice and calm and people were … in the end it was really nice and they were about to kiss.
I don’t think you’ve talked about anything that happened outside the last 30 minutes of the movie. Let’s wrap it up. Overall, what did you think of this as your — maybe — fourth or fifth movie theater experience?
We had some popcorn and some gummies. The watermelon and cherry ones were my favorite kinds.
Noted. And the movie?
And I think, you guys, if you’ve got a child you should let your child come see it. Because I watched it, and I’m a child. And I’m six. And I think I really enjoyed it. And I think other people would too.
That’s really well put.
Uhh… thanks.
I think that Missing Link is worth seeing, if for nothing else but getting to see the work that goes into it and to support people that are doing things the hard way — showing studios there’s interest in people making art like this today. Also, the cast is pretty outstanding, and I had a couple of laugh-out-loud moments even if the jokes were mostly slapstick stuff. It feels very Looney Tunes, which works well for action scenes since you can play with physics. There’s this great chase-and-fight scene on a ship where the boat is sideways in a storm and Sir Lionel is running away from the bounty hunter down a hallway. He’s leaping over open doors that are now pits below him. It felt like a funnier version of the Inception hotel fight scene, and I mean that as a compliment.
OK … Can we be done now?
OK.
OK. Byeeee.
–Eric Pulsifer (and Daughter)
At the beginning, the boy didn’t know where Missing Link was. He was running away from his real house. And then he told the boy that I think the Yetis that lived far away from him was his cousins. And then he went all the way there to get trapped.
Yeah. And what is the missing link?
He was the missing… quee … between… evolution. Done.
That’s it?
Yeah.
Do you think Bigfoot is real?
No. That foot was just glass!
You mean the cast of the imprint that Sir Lionel had? That was a copy of his Susan’s real footprint. He was real. I mean, he’s the star of the movi--
I want to find one and yell at it. Bigfeet aren’t real.
Well, big feet are real, like elephant feet.
Those aren’t feet. Those are hooves.
I’m pretty sure elephants have feet, not hooves.
No. Hooves. [Note: They're feet. I Googled it.]
OK. Let’s move on. Did you like Missing Link more or less than The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, the last movie we saw in theaters?
I liked it a tiny bit better because it wasn’t that scary. Cause Lego Number 2 was kind of scary. And I think we shouldn’t … And I think I was a little scared of that one. But this one I kind of liked a little better, because it was nice and calm and people were … in the end it was really nice and they were about to kiss.
I don’t think you’ve talked about anything that happened outside the last 30 minutes of the movie. Let’s wrap it up. Overall, what did you think of this as your — maybe — fourth or fifth movie theater experience?
We had some popcorn and some gummies. The watermelon and cherry ones were my favorite kinds.
Noted. And the movie?
And I think, you guys, if you’ve got a child you should let your child come see it. Because I watched it, and I’m a child. And I’m six. And I think I really enjoyed it. And I think other people would too.
That’s really well put.
Uhh… thanks.
I think that Missing Link is worth seeing, if for nothing else but getting to see the work that goes into it and to support people that are doing things the hard way — showing studios there’s interest in people making art like this today. Also, the cast is pretty outstanding, and I had a couple of laugh-out-loud moments even if the jokes were mostly slapstick stuff. It feels very Looney Tunes, which works well for action scenes since you can play with physics. There’s this great chase-and-fight scene on a ship where the boat is sideways in a storm and Sir Lionel is running away from the bounty hunter down a hallway. He’s leaping over open doors that are now pits below him. It felt like a funnier version of the Inception hotel fight scene, and I mean that as a compliment.
OK … Can we be done now?
OK.
OK. Byeeee.
–Eric Pulsifer (and Daughter)
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