Let me start things off here by saying that I love Michael Bay. I like what he does. He gives me a summer spectacle that makes the hairs on my arms rise right up while simultaneously manipulating me into thinking I actually have feelings. I don't know how you guys are, but when Harry Stamper sends A.J. back into the ship and says, "Your job is taking care of my little girl now," well, my heart swelled and I was actually convinced Bruce Willis was going to die in real life. Whether you think Bay is a hack or not, one thing is undeniable, he knows how to direct the shit out of an action movie, and, with the first Transformers, he proved it. Now with his second outing, Bay  has upped the ante and attempted to deliver us even bigger, louder, more bad ass robot fighting than before, and on that level he succeeds.

Revenge of the Fallen (RoF) has more robots than the last time, more action sequences, more robot character development, ...

and a significantly longer running time. This should all be good right? Well it isn't. I desperately wanted this to be my summer movie salvation where I walked out totally satisfied with having my mind shut off and being visually pleased; however, whatever the film has going for it gets ruined by its significant flaws.

First off you get Mudflap and Skids, the two new adolescent Transformers who are quickly developing the nickname "Car Car Binks." These two flail around like complete idiots, while simultaneously perpetuating every racial stereotype they can get their cybertronic hands on. They speak jive and have gold teeth. How we can live in a world where people get up in arms over the use of the word "retard", but let shit like this fly is beyond me.

Also, the use of an old farting bomber jet Transformer who hobbles around on his transformed cane is pretty stupid, as was the use of a Transformer human. If they can assume human form, why don't they just infiltrate us that way? It seems significantly easier. And don't get me started about the gigantic robot nuts--I'd just assume that never happened altogether. These are just a few of the many problems the film has. Every time you find yourself enjoying what's going on, Michael Bay and Co. do their absolute best to pander to the lowest common denominator and simultaneously ruin the movie for you.

But he knows how to film an action sequence, I'll give the man that. Bay has recruited a new cinematographer after some of the audience confusion of the last film, and, this time, the action is pretty easy to follow in addition to being significantly more impressive. There is a battle that takes place in the woods that will not be forgotten. The camera work, visual effects, and sheer Michael Bayery of the scene will almost leave you walking away thinking you saw a good movie (if only that scene were closer to the end.)

The script was a relative mess, but I was willing to forgive it, because frankly, I came out to see a movie about fighting robots, how good did I expect the plot to be? Bay just tries so hard to pack more of everything in here, and while the action and set pieces are amplified, so are the annoyances.

While I wouldn't tell you to not see this movie in a theater because, frankly, the action and visual effects alone are worth watching on a big screen, the incredible run time and nauseating new characters really made me just want to sit at home and watch my Transformer Blu Ray.

--Greg MacLennan