Adam Sandler has had an interesting career. First, he starred in weird 'n' wacky films, which as a kid I loved watching with my older brothers, learning the F word at much too young of an age. Then he started making films where he just screamed for 90 minutes, and I got really turned off. And THEN he made some honest-to-goodness GREAT films (Punch Drunk Love, I'm lookin' at you), but then, that Sandman, he regressed back into some shitty films. Take a look at his recent ones, and you cannot disagree with me. So, what happens when Sandler decides to make a film his children can watch and he tries to meld it with a shell of his older self? Ugh...we get a crapload of yelling, boogers, and a ridiculous CGI guinea pig with eyes only a mother could love. Did I mention that Adam "I make shitty movies" Shankman directed it? Still not convinced this movie is not worthy of your money? Okay, read on.

Bedtime Stories is the tale of Skeeter Bronson, a handyman at a Los Angeles hotel that used to belong to his late father. Though Skeeter still believes that new owner Barry Nottingham (Richard Griffiths) will someday make good on his promise to Skeeter's pop to let him run the place, he's unlikely to usurp Kendall (Guy Pearce), the slick, sycophantic manager who's dating Nottingham's socialite daughter Violet (Teresa Palmer). Russell Brand (yes, sex addict and alcoholic Russel Brand) plays Skeeter's loyal waiter sidekick. When Skeeter's sister (Courteney Cox) goes out of town, she asks Skeeter to babysit her kids, and he shares the task with her friend Jill (imminent love interest Keri Russell). Skeeter quickly learns the path to avuncular success involves elaborate bedtime stories. Jonathan Pryce makes a cameo as Skeeter's dad and also narrates.

Now, Bedtime Stories could have taken the path to A Princess Bride, but it too just becomes 90 minutes of Sandler screeching. With children laughing in glee and Greg and I wincing in pain, I can only imagine this film would only appeal to those too young to rent any of Sandler's better films. And as much as I love using fat animals as comedic relief, a disgusting CGI guinea pig with huge eyes used over and over and over again made my heart hurt.

Although this film is horrific, seriously, don't see it unless you have children to placate, no matter how big of a Sandler fan you once were, there are some shining beacons of light. Namely Kerri Russell, who mostly is relegated to a Prius-driving priss, but also gets to charm audiences with her affable and soothing ways. Also, I cannot believe I'm saying this, but it's definitely a weird flick when Russell Brand is stealing the show of a children's movie. While his hosting duties of the MTV VMAs were like nails on a chalkboard, Brand is considerably fun to watch, and he even puts that mop top of his away for a couple of scenes. Pryce is cute in his brief role, but the usually remarkable Pearce looks old, tired, and confused why he's in this film. We are too...

With so many options this XMAS of films to see to avoid your fam, Bedtime Stories is only something to take your screaming young'uns to once their new toys have lost their luster. 

Reviewed by: Darcie Duttweiler

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