 I love that with the advent of Sex and the City that studios are all like “A-ha! Women love talking about sex just as much as men! And they can be raunchy too! Let’s capitalize on this!” It was only a matter of time before romantic comedies geared at women would also start to market this newfound realization that women have potty mouths too. Take, for example, this year’s Going the Distance, a not-great movie that tried to toe the line between sweet, quirky rom com and raunchy sex comedy. No Strings Attached suffers the same problem, except it lacks the likability of Justin Long and is replaced instead with the awful presence of Ashton Kutcher. Just, please don’t tell me, Ivan Reitman, that this film is a feminist romantic comedy. I might barf again. No Strings Attached is the story of Adam (Kutcher), a lowly assistant on a Glee-esque TV show with a famous dad (Kevin Kline), who meets Emma (Natalie Portman), a medical intern who doesn’t want any romantic attachments. So, of course, the two decide to just have sex, no strings attached without the promise of feelings—or breakfast. Along for the ride are their goofy friends, Greta Gerwig, Ludacris, Jake M. Johnson, and Mindy Kaling. Can these two learn how to make sex uncomplicated without falling in love? Spoiler Alert: no, of course not. Yes, No Strings Attached is insanely formulaic. Extremely. But it decides to up the rom com antics by trying to take on Judd Apatow with raunchy jokes. However, No Strings Attached feels more like SATC reruns on TBS: watered down and more sitcom-y. There’s really nothing raunchy or sex comedy about this film minus a few well-placed jokes about menstruation. Sure, I giggled a few times. I have to admit that Natalie Portman is actually funny. She is, by far, the best part of this film. Kevin Kline would take that prize if he was given more to do, but…alas. And then there is Kutcher. He is…Ashton Kutcher, which is, to say, terrible. But I fail to see how Reitman, a comedy master, deems No Strings Attached as a feminist romantic comedy. I get that it’s somehow empowering that women want sex, but it just makes the characters in this film out to be hard-heartened shrews who hate feelings. No Strings Attached is a pretty "meh" film. It’s not terrible, but it’s not great. I’m glad Portman is in it rather than Katherine Heigl, but even she can’t save it from the awfulness that is Ashton Kutcher. I’m holding out for Friends with Benefits to get my raunchy rom com fill. --Darcie Duttweiler Add Comment  Blue Valentine is the most harrowing movie I've seen all year. It’s more intense than Black Swan and harder-to-watch than when James Franco cuts off his own arm in 127 Hours. It is brutal—as incredibly honest and raw as it is beautiful and impeccably acted. Don’t be fooled by the cutesy trailer of two people falling in love, folks. This is no date movie. In fact, as I sat through Blue Valentine, holding the hand of my loved one, all I could think about to keep myself from completely breaking down and becoming lost in this movie was the whiskey I was going to throw back as soon as the film was over. I mean that as a compliment. Read more after the jump! "Tron Legacy:" c:/reboot_system/failure 12/16/2010
 I might not be the ideal audience for Tron Legacy. When I was a kid growing up with two older, computer geek brothers and one computer engineering dad, I was subjected to the original Tron over and over and over again. All I wanted to do was watch The Little Mermaid again, but no. I was forced against my will to watch my brothers geek out over light cycles and The Grid. Upon rewatching the original film this past Thanksgiving, I realized I still have no freakin’ clue what is going on in Tron. I mean, I get it, but it’s basically just a personified Hackers of its day, no? Sure, the visuals were enchanting to me in the ‘80s, but the story basically made no sense. The EXACT same thing can be said of Tron Legacy. Sure, the visuals are incredible (and I’m not just talking about Olivia Wilde in a skintight latex suit), but the story makes no sense. The film also feels like a hodgepodge of different sci-fi flicks, such as The Matrix, Star Wars, and even a bit Lord of the Rings. But shit does it look cool. Read more after the jump!  I’m not, you know, the world’s craziest Harry Potter fan. My friends have called me out when I’ve nerdily explained what certain wizard spells are, but I haven’t read the books multiple times or dressed up like Hermione for release parties or anything. But, I’ve loved being immersed in the Potter world, growing with these characters, and learning all about the mythology surrounding the events. So, that being said, I’m not ashamed to say that the Harry Potter flicks could really benefit from employing a freakin’ recap every once and a while. Seriously. As I sat down for the latest installment, the first of the last, I realized I had no fucking clue what was going on. As a fan of the books and the movies, that should say something. As the film wore on, I continually realized that I still had no clue what was going on, and, frankly, I was getting bored and restless. I thought, “Surely the Harry Potter films couldn’t have peaked like four films ago, right?” No. I was totally right. Sadly, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 isn’t anywhere on par with the Alfonso Cuarón chapter. It’s just utterly and completely half of a movie… Read more after the jump! Ford outshines "Morning Glory" 11/12/2010
 Critics are slightly torn over Morning Glory, the new workplace rom-com starring Rachel McAdams as a morning show producer struggling to turn her middling show into a success. Granted, the film is a little uneven. Does it want to be a workplace comedy a la Broadcast News or does it want to be a romantic comedy with McAdams and the dashing Patrick Wilson making eyes at each other? Well, it tries to be both, but it only succeeds on half of its equation. For me, even though Morning Glory is splitting critics, the film is, on a whole, fairly delightful and enjoyable for one very important reason: Harrison Ford. The actor has never been looser or funnier as he is playing the stodgy and cranky former newsman Mike Pomeroy, and for his addition to the film it is worth checking out. Read more after the jump. More like "Meh-gamind" 11/04/2010
 Megamind is no Kung Fu Panda or How to Train Your Dragon. I keep waiting for DreamWorks to come up with films worthy of those animated wonders, but with every Shrek flick that comes out, a little part of my soul dies. Megamind is adequate enough. It’s the type of movie my mom will love and then tell me what an asshole I’m being for not jumping over the moon for it. But she also adores the Shrek franchise, so take that for what it’s worth. (Hi, Mom. I love you!) Although, I can appreciate how Megamind tries to flip the classic superhero tale on its head and create a villain that’s lovable. Oh….wait. Didn’t Despicable Me try to do that too? Hmmmm…. Read more after the jump! "Due Date" doesn't quite deliver 11/04/2010
 It’s not that Due Date isn’t funny. It is. But with a top-notch cast and a director at home with hilarious films, Due Date just isn’t as funny as it should be. It relies too heavily on its likable cast of Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifianakis (and a seriously adorable French bulldog) than crafting a genius and humorous script. Plus, in the vein of Meet the Parents where our hero is forced to succumb to awful event after the other (essentially a comedy version of Saw), Due Date is not necessarily the most enjoyable film to watch even with good chemistry between the leads. Read more after the jump!  When I was telling people that I was excited to see Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole, everyone looked at me like I was fucking nuts. “That animated owl movie?! Really?” Sure, a 3D animated film about owl battles sounds ridiculous, but the trailers made the film look like a beautiful epic almost akin to Lord of the Rings but, you know, with owls. While the film occasionally feels slightly sluggish and doesn’t quite live up to its aesthetic beauty, Legends of the Guardians is indeed a beautiful epic. Read more after the jump!  The Town, which is directed by what the trailers call “the acclaimed director of Gone Baby Gone, is being hailed as the next The Departed. Although The Town has much in common with the Academy Award-winning Martin Scorsesee film, such as Boston accents, violent crime, and potentially ill-advised romances, the Ben Affleck directed flick opening this weekend is missing a couple key components that made The Departed a truly exceptional film: tension and emotional core. While The Town is a great movie, there is still that wish that it could have been better. Read more after the jump!  While watching Going the Distance, I was having a good time. The movie made me laugh, the two leads were cute, and the movie was entirely enjoyable. However, once I left the theater, I started to think more about the flick and decided that perhaps it wasn’t greater than the sum of its parts. The problem is that Going the Distance doesn’t know what TYPE of movie it wants to be. Is it a rom-com for ‘tween girls who love Drew Barrymore? Is it a foul-mouthed Apatow-esque buddy comedy? Or is it a quirky and hip love story a la (500) Days of Summer? It has NO clue. And while I enjoy everyone involved with this film, including the greatly underappreciated Justin Long, Barrymore, Charlie Day, Christina Applegate, and Jason Sudeikis, the movie isn’t necessarily one that will grab your attention past getting up from your theater seat. But, in a summer of pretty terrible movies, Going the Distance is a welcome diversion with some well-earned yuks. Read more after the break! | Archives
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