Going the Distance
While watching Going the Distance, I was having a good time. The movie made me laugh, the two leads were cute, and the movie was entirely enjoyable. However, once I left the theater, I started to think more about the flick and decided that perhaps it wasn’t greater than the sum of its parts. The problem is that Going the Distance doesn’t know what TYPE of movie it wants to be. Is it a rom-com for ‘tween girls who love Drew Barrymore? Is it a foul-mouthed Apatow-esque buddy comedy? Or is it a quirky and hip love story a la (500) Days of Summer?

It has NO clue. And while I enjoy everyone involved with this film, including the greatly underappreciated Justin Long, Barrymore, Charlie Day, Christina Applegate, and Jason Sudeikis, the movie isn’t necessarily one that will grab your attention past getting up from your theater seat. But, in a summer of pretty terrible movies, Going the Distance is a welcome diversion with some well-earned yuks.

Read more after the break!
 
 
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When you show up for a romantic comedy starring Jennifer Aniston, the phrase you least expect to read in the opening credits is “based on a short story by Jeffrey Eugenides.” How on earth did a story by a Pulitzer Prize winner become a rom com with the star of The Bounty Hunter? Beats me.

The Switch is the story of Wally (Jason Bateman) and his best friend Kassie (Aniston), who decides she wants to have a baby via artificial insemination. While Kassie picks the “goods” of Roland (Patrick Wilson), a hunky, blonde teacher, Wally accidentally gets super wasted and swaps out Roland’s sperm with his own (after a brief dalliance with a Diane Sawyer magazine cover). Kassie then moves away, only to return 7 years later with a son who bears a huge resemblance to Wally, which conjures up several of emotions with the neurotic loner.  Cue feelings and cute kids!

With romantic comedies, it can be very easy to write them off as formulaic and predictable. However, when you have a rom com starring funnyman Bateman, you expect something a little better. Unfortunately, The Switch doesn’t deliver. The movie isn’t bad—it’s far from unwatchable. Bateman is fairly funny, but he’s not given much to do other than play nice with a cute but neurotic kid, who is, yes, very adorable. Aniston is basically nonexistent in her role, as is Wilson.

There is a shining light in this movie, though, and his name is Jeff Goldblum. Shocker of the year, right? Goldblum reminded me very much of Ted Danson in HBO’s Bored to Death, and that’s a great compliment. He was easily the best part of The Switch as Wally’s coworker and narcissistic friend.  Juliette Lewis serves the same function as Kassie’s kooky friend who’s less likable than Goldblum.

I wish I had good news for Arrested Development fans, but The Switch is merely a mediocre movie starring a fun and charming actor and his scene-stealing, weird friend.  Goldblum totally owned this movie—too bad it had all that love and kid junk holding him down…

--Darcie Duttweiler

 
 
Step Up 3D
Remember those 3D movies you used to see in theme parks as a kid? You would spend the whole run time on the edge of your seat waiting for the next object to jump out at you. While Avatar created an entire universe that was complex, robust, and so…three dimensional, I can’t help but admit the longing I sometimes feel when watching a modern 3D movie for something to just….fucking jump out at me. Step Up 3D may not have the emotional depth of the likes of even Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but things (namely arms, bubbles, rain, and feet) fucking jump out at you.

And it’s awesome.

Read the full review AFTER the jump.
 
 
Charlie St. Cloud
If Zac Efron wants to be taken seriously by moviegoers who aren’t 13-year-old girls, he’s going to have to do more than sit-ups. Charlie St. Cloud is the High School Musical star’s latest attempt at serious acting, but it offers little to redeem itself to anyone other than his prepubescent fan base.

Efron plays Charlie, a college-bound boy who miraculous survives a car accident that kills his kid brother. Following his brush with the other side, Charlie seems to be granted the ability to communicate with the dead. Abandoning his college ambitions, Charlie takes up a job in a graveyard, where he has daily hangout sessions with the spectral version of his brother. Things get complicated for the siblings as Charlie finds a love interest and a Nicholas Sparks-esque romance develops. What follows is a mess without explanation, that may or may not result in Zac Efron banging a ghost.

Director Burr Steers (Igby Goes Down, 17 Again), who seems to have his sights set on becoming a poor man's John Hughes, again focuses on the difficulties surrounding the transition from youth to the grown-up world. He manages to throw in some pretty visuals, but it’s not enough to distract from the weak plot and Efron’s under-developed acting chops.

Unlike The Sixth Sense, Charlie St. Cloud is a supernatural tale that doesn’t play by its own rules and, by the conclusion, you’re left trying to figure out an incoherent mess with vague religious overtones that seems to have no sensible explanation.

Efron spends most of the film sailing or working in the graveyard, both which provided him ample opportunities to shed his shirt. If that’s enough for you, you may be satisfied. Otherwise, Charlie St. Cloud is a silly and sentimental supernatural wannabe tearjerker that can’t play by its own rules.

—Eric Pulsifer
 
 
Inception
I’m having an incredibly difficult time sitting down to write this Inception review. Much like Christopher Nolan’s Memento, this film sits with you far longer than the hours you spend in the theater, and it’s a film that takes some time to mull over—not only just the plot but the imageries as well. And if any critic tells you they can easily critique Inception with just one viewing is a bold-faced liar. It is a film that takes repeated viewings merely to scratch away at the layers of complexity that unfold before your eyes. If this sounds hard to digest, however, fret not, movie goer. Inception is definitely a summer blockbuster disguised as a thinky, sci-fi drama. It has all the action and visual effects you crave, but, unlike most of the movies this summer, it is wholly original and a fantastic voyage to embark upon.

Read more AFTER the jump!
 
 
Despicable Me
I wish there was a way for the little boy who sat behind me at Despicable Me to write this review. Because it shouldn't matter what I think; despite Hollywood's best efforts to make movies that appeal to both children and adults (the future father in me is very grateful for this), these movies are ultimately made for kids.

As a film critic I'm conditioned to analyze character development, cinematography, and a bunch of other crap that won't affect that little boy's enjoyment of the movie at all. While I sat calmly in my seat and watched the movie, he bounced around and squealed when it looked like 3D was popping off the screen. He giggled at fart jokes and laughed uninhibited when Dr. Gru's minions made a joke. He even rebuked the characters on the screen when they thought Dr. Gru wouldn't make it. "Oh yes he will!" he said loud enough for the entire theater to hear. And when you look at the movie from his perspective, it was pretty damn good!

It might not resonate with adults the way that Kung Fu Panda or Toy Story 3 did, but it is a fun, mindless escape. And for that reason I applaud it.

Read MORE after the jump!
 
 
The Last Airbender
I love going into a movie with absolutely NO expectations because either way I’ll be okay. If it’s good, it completely rocks my world, and if it’s bad then I still have a good time. I’m glad I went into The Last Airbender with no expectations and nary a scrap of what the plot contained because the movie is just merely so-so. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it—I had a fairly good time watching the special effects—but when I dive just a little deeper and try to look at the film from a critical eye, it doesn’t measure up. However, I feel like M. Nigh Syamalan’s adaptation is one really good commercial for the Nickelodeon animated series, and THAT I have high expectations for.

Read MORE after the jump!

 
 
twilight eclipse
As you may recall from last year’s New Moon review, I’m not a big fan of the Twilight Saga or the whole Mormon vampire phenom in general. So if you’re looking for a subjective review, you’re probably not going to find it here. But considering this is probably the best Twilight outing of the series thus far, you might be surprised at how much I didn’t just outright loathe this film.

Before I get into the good bits of Eclipse, however, let me first reiterate why I firmly believe this series is destroying America—teenage girls in particular. First of all, it’s repeated several times that if Bella (Kristen Stewart) has sex with Edward (Robert Pattinson) that she will lose her soul. No joke. Second of all, Bella is begging for Edward to turn her into a vampire, meaning she will literally give up her life for this dude. Thirdly, Edward is downright obsessive with Bella. It freaks me out, and I’m probably a high maintenance lady.  It’s creepy. So what messages are we sending to all the screaming girls out there? That they should look for an obsessive boyfriend who they should give up their entire lives for? But watch out, you wouldn’t want to lose your virtue by expressing your sexuality!

Anyhoo. Now that my feminist bitchfest is out of the way, onto the rest of the review where, as I mentioned already, I don’t completely bash the shit out of Eclipse!
 
 
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I’m going to step out on a limb here, folks. Toy Story 3 may be the best Pixar film ever made. Allow that to marinate for a bit. While The Incredibles was, well, incredible, and WALL-E was breathtakingly sweet, Toy Story 3 has the hidden perk of nostalgia to go along with its impeccable storytelling, beautiful animation, and wonderful voice acting. While that robot flick fell apart once we reached the human space station and Up crumbled once old men started fighting with their teeth, Toy Story 3 is insanely solid through and through. It is so much more than a child’s film, which is ironic considering it’s a  movie about children’s playthings (Woody’s words, not mine)—it’s a cinematic feat that will likely touch the hearts and imaginations of all the adults in the audience while still entertaining the kiddos. Be prepared, though; you might even shed a tear or two…

Read more about the cinematic quality of Toy Story 3 AFTER the jump.
 
 
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While most tikes in the '80s were wearing out copies of kid-friendly cartoons on VHS, the movies I grew up on were scary as hell. My father's genre of choice has always been horror, and during the decade-and-a-half when I had little to no say in the evening's entertainment, the two of us sprawled out on the living room floor and watched nearly every scary TV show or video released in the horror section of our local video store at least once. Being brought up on a diet of buckets of blood and boobs circa 1985 (blame evolution or casting directors, but they're notably different than modern boobs) makes me hopeful whenever I see a promising trailer like the one for sci-fi thriller Splice.

In those 90 seconds, I could still hold out hope that the genre responsible for the stupid shit that kept me up at night as a child (The Brain, The Gate, Gremlins) matured with my taste in film, offering solid scares but finding a way to work in a reasonable plot and at least an attempt at acting.

Does Splice deliver? More after the jump.