"Astro Boy": Bumbled Blastoff 10/23/2009
 While the youth of America was watching Thundercats and Care Bears, our neighbors to the north were tuned into Astro Boy. This is based off my very scientific research of talking to two of three Canadians I know and checking Astro Boy's Wikipedia page, which says the show was also a smash hit in Asia and Australia. This soccer of Saturday morning cartoons may not have taken off in the states, but you've no doubt seen the spiky-haired, nearly nude robo-boy at some point. Astro Boy takes place in Metro City, a pristine floating city in the sky, and tells the story of scientist/world's worst dad Dr. Tenma (Nicolas Cage), who loses his son, Toby, in an accident and attempts to bring him back as a robot equipped with his boy's memories. Tenma quickly decides this robotic reincarnation of his son can't replace the real thing and Astro Boy is left on his own to find a place in the world. More after the jump...  Don't be fooled by the marketing campaign that promises a fun and whimsical vampire film with a mix of action and adventure thrown in because, frankly, that's not the Vampire's Assistant. The Vampire's Assistant tells the frightening tale of a boy named Darren who unknowingly breaks a 200-year-old truce between two warring factions of vampires. Pulled into a fantastic life of misunderstood sideshow freaks and grotesque creatures of the night, Darren must choose a side and rise up to be the vampire he was foretold to be. Unfortunately, by the time Darren does rise up, it's only in time to set up the hopeful sequel, and not even the super celebrity cast of John C. Reily, Orlando Jones, Salma Hayek, Ken Watanabe, Ray Stevenson, and Willem Dafoe can save this thing. More after the jump... Logic Defying Cinema 10/16/2009
 What would you do if two men broke into your house, stabbed you, and then raped your wife and killed your daughter in front of you? Not only that, but one guy rolls on the other after being apprehended, and, while one gets sentenced to lethal injection, the other walks after three years of 'hard' time. You'd probably bleed a little at first, then stew in your anger for 10 years, and then methodically plan out the dumbest, most implausible form of revenge you could think of, wouldn't you? I knew it! Such is the premise for Law Abiding Citizen, the latest from director F. Gary Gray (Italian Job, A Man Apart, and several R. Kelly Videos). Gerard Butler plays the judiciously wronged father, while Jamie Foxx plays the well-to-do lawyer who is seeking to advance his career by keeping his conviction percentage high. Upon being wronged both by the aforementioned stabber/rapers and by the justice system, Butler takes the law into his own hands and tries to create what could have been a fun little revenge flick. Unfortunately, though, things go horribly wrong. more after the jump... Coco Avant the Yawns 10/15/2009
 There are movies that I sit through and thoroughly enjoy from start to finish. There are movies that I sit through and extremely loathe. And then there are movies that I think, “Ok, this movie is goooooood, but why am I not enjoying it more?” Coco Avant Chanel fits in the latter category. I’m always fascinated by a good, ol’ fashioned biopic that tells a great story about how someone became something great, and while Coco Avant Chanel gives us the small details of what made Coco Chanel different than other French designers during her time (which, let’s face it, spanned over 50 years), it doesn’t give us the rewards of her struggles. It could have used more of Coco Après Chanel. Read more after the jump!  Every once and a while there is a movie that manages to sneak up under your skin and affect you in ways you didn't think it could. It's a movie with a message—but don't they all have messages? This message, though, manages to stealthily work its way inside you, bypass all rational thought, slide past the shell surrounding your bitter, jaded heart, and leave you deeply entranced. Where the Wild Things Are managed to circumvent my emotional defenses and tap right into the mainline of the nine-year-old kid inside me. More after the jump... Fantastic Fest Review: Bronson 10/12/2009
 When the culture of celebrity is discussed today, images of vapid blondes carrying dogs in their purses and “forgetting” their panties as they migrate from their Lamborghini to the paparazzi line is inevitable. But in 1974 a young Englishman named Michael Peterson wanted to be famous more than anything. The problem is he couldn't sing, dance or act. Actually, he wasn't particularly talented at anything. So, he decided that fame would come to him if he didn't respect any societal conventions and lived without fear of pain or retribution. Naturally, Michael Peterson became the most violent person in English history. Read more after the jump! Fantastic Fest Review: Metropia 10/12/2009
 Disclosure: I'm over the dystopian future being juiced dry by the massive global bad guy/corporation storyline. Not that there is anything wrong with the concept, and perhaps it is more prophesy than fiction. But unless you can do it better than Robocop, I would rather just wait for my robot/alien/corporate overlord in peace while watching a movie about a college road trip gone wacky. But to its credit, Metropia, does bring something new--at least visually, and, in this case, that might be enough. Read more after the jump!  "Auteur" is a big word that gets thrown around a lot and is quickly turning cliché. But the word literally means "author" and is meant to categorize certain filmmakers whose style is so manifested on screen that it points as much to the director as it does to the story that's being told. Terry Gilliam can easily be called an auteur, and the signature, fantastical Gilliam point of view is as evident in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus as ever. More after the jump... "Retreat" from these "Couples" 10/08/2009
 Couples Retreat has a lot going for it. First of all, Vince Vaughn’s fast-talking, slightly crazy shtick works for me. It has since Swinger, and granted, that was 13 years ago now, and a lot of his charm has worn thin in terrible, terrible movies. But he still makes me laugh more often than not, so I tend to give him the benefit of the doubt. Secondly, Jon Favreau has really honed his angry comedy routine, which is a far cry from his nerdy, insecure days in the aforementioned movie, and, for the most part, it works. Thirdly, Jason Bateman. Do I even need to explain this? Fine, Extract was kinda shitty, but oh well. Fourth of all, Kristen Bell is so damn likeable. Throw in the producing skills of Peter Billingsley (in his first directing role), who’s produced a ton of Favreau and Vaughn films, and you have an at least decent film, right? Fuck, no. Read more after the jump! Fantastic Fest Review: Rampage 10/07/2009
 Uwe Boll is quite the prolific director. He has made several video game adaptations, as well as shot some original visions of his own. He writes, he produces, he directs, and no matter how gigantic the failures of his productions (both critically and commercially), he always has another movie coming out. For a guy who's made 18 movies now, none of which have broeken $10 mil at the domestic box office or even garner more than a 10% positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, it is astounding. But as they say, every dog has his day, and today is Uwe Boll's day. Rampage is the director's latest effort that tells the story of Bill, a mild mannered suburban-dwelling twentysomething who works at a mechanic shop and lives with his parents. Bill goes about his life like most of us, dealing with everyday struggles and frustrations--from the guy who can't make our coffee right to having to go out on our own and make it in the world. Only difference is, where you or I would sink or swim in the world, Bill decides to create and bulletproof steel suit of armor and go on a killing spree across his town, murdering indiscriminately. Sounds like a blast right? more after the jump... | Archives
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