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From what I know about the videogame Prince of Persia is that you can do cool running-up-walls moves while pretending that you’re a parkour badass and that you can stop time. That’s the extent of my knowledge. Just knowing that, it’s safe to say that Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is a pretty faithful adaptation of the video game. In fact, it may be one of the best video game adaptations ever. The plot is easy to follow, the fight scenes are pretty bitchin’, and you can easily sit back and simply enjoy a fun action flick.

Sure, you have to ignore the fact that the two “Persian” leads are the whitest actors of all time, and, okay, Jake Gyllenhaal’s accent is atrocious. But if you resign yourself to put aside these two factors, there shouldn’t be anything standing in the way of your enjoyment of Prince of Persia.

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I loved Sex and the City the show; however, the first SATC film shat upon the memory of my beloved show, forsaking sex, love, and, above all else, friendship for a film where a main character defecates in her pants. I couldn’t put my finger on why the first film rubbed me the wrong way—it was almost as if the characters that worked so well on the small screen became gross caricatures that were unwelcome to me at the Cineplex. So, going into the sequel, I had high hopes that this film could resuscitate the story for me. Luckily no one pooped their pants, but Michael Patrick King and Sarah Jessica Parker most certainly took a dump on those dreams.

SATC 2 picks up where the last film ended: Carrie (Parker) and Big (Chris Noth) are settling into marriage, while deciding on what wedded bliss looks like sans baby; Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) and Steve (David Eisenberg) are juggling Miranda’s hectic work schedule and angry boss with their family life; Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is struggling with the trials and tribulations of raising two young daughters; and Samantha (Kim Catrall) is trying to stave off menopause by ingesting hormones by the fistful. So when Samantha gets offered an all expenses paid vacay to Abu Dhabi, she brings her ladies for extravagant lady bonding and wacky shenanigans. While in the Middle East, Carrie runs into old flame Aidan (John Corbett) and old emotions resurface.

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Bazil has a rough life. As a child,  he was orphaned by a roadside mine that killed the only family he had. Sure that's a tough pill to swallow but presently Bazil seems alright. He works at a video stores and consumes copious amounts of what he loves most: film. That is until one fateful day, when a stray bullet randomly finds its way crashing through the video shop's front window and straight into Bazil's brain. He survives, but not completely unscathed, and when he tries to return to his normal life he soon finds he has been replaced at the video shop, and his place of residence has evicted him. So Bazil turns to the streets where he is soon taken in by a band of weirdos, each with a very specific skill set. They work together and provide for one another, and Bazil assumes his role well until his car breaks down and he finds himself between two monolithic buildings baring emblems of the two weapons of destruction that  ruined his life. Bazil's resolve? Take em down. But his way--with some zany Micmacs, or shenanigans.

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I haven’t liked a Shrek movie since the first one. I found that film to be refreshing, funny, and made for both adults and kids alike. The following two films, however? Not so much. They relied too much on toilet humor and seemed to pander to the lowest common denominator. That being said…I actually kinda liked Shrek Forever After. Please note the word “kinda.”

Shown in exceptionally impressive 3D, Forever After is basically a rip-off of It’s a Wonderful Life, where Shrek basically gets to see what life would be like had he never been born after he is tricked into signing a contract with the sneaky Rumpelstiltskin. Life for Shrek has become monotonous and hard since the birth of his kids and the explosion of his popularity. Longing for quieter times, he asks for a day just to be an ogre. This is where Rumpelstiltskin comes into play. Realizing how sucky the alternate universe is without him—Donkey is forced to haul carts by witches, Fiona was never rescued and leads an ogre resistance against the tyrant Rumpelstiltskin, and Puss in Boots is fat—Shrek must race the clock to make things right or disappear forever.

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A summer blockbuster should be fun, full of action, and lacking all that thinking bit you get from Oscar baiting fall flicks. Iron Man 2, while not as great as its predecessor, fit this bill. It was fun, the action quotient was high, and I didn’t have to really think once. Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood is nothing like this. While well-made (I mean it’s Ridley Scott, after all), the movie falls flat, it’s WAY too long, and the action is disjointed.

Now, I’m not against a thinkier summer blockbuster—I mean, I absolutely adored The Dark Knight. But there definitely is a difference between, say a Braveheart versus an Iron Man. One is long as fuck, full of politics and sweeping cinematography, and made solely for the purpose of winning awards, while, the other is made for audiences to cheer with a fun superhero in a lighthearted and fun flick.  Robin Hood just happens to fit into the latter category. It is clunky, slow, and kinda boring.  Sure, fine it’s sorta epic. But whatever.

Read more about Russell Crowe’s not-so Merry Men and Lady Marian’s sour puss after the jump!

 
 
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"Holy shit, y'all are STILL sitting on SXSW reviews?" Yes, fuck you; it's been a busy month. Anyhoo. One of the best films I saw during the film festival waaaay back in March was director Bernard Rose's Mr. Nice, the story of Howard Marks, a Welsh teacher turned drug dealer turned family man turned spy turned the biggest dope smuggler in the world. Since this was starring Rhys Ifans, typically a comical supporting actor, I was incredibly intrigued how the film would be. Turns out it would be entertaining as hell. 

Read the rest of the review after the jump!
 
 
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Summer 2010 has officially kicked off! I don't know about y'all, but I'm pretty excited. Anyhoo. With the first week of May comes our first big summer blockbuster, and it's pretty exciting to see Iron Man gracing our screens again. But, wait. Hold on, folks. While Iron Man 2 is a fun action flick, it doesn't quite measure up to the bar set by its predecessor, and even Robert Downey Jr. seems to be resting a wee bit on his laurels. 

However, the flick is still a fun ride. 

Read more to find out why Iron Man 2 is better than Transformers 2 but not The Dark Knight.