SXSW Review: "The Runaways" 03/29/2010
The Runaways opens with a shot of what looks like red nail polish dripping onto the pavement and two blonde girls giggling as they run into a fast food bathroom. Cherie Currie’s sister declares her little sis a woman now (ewww, right?) and they proceed to whore themselves up with tight clothing and bright makeup before hopping into a dude’s car. Now, if the thought of first-time period blood doesn’t scare you off, you’re in luck. The rest of The Runaways tries to be just as provocative as its initial shot but can never recapture the same shock or surprise—unless you count the generous whooping of pervy middle-aged bros in the audience when a 15-year-old Dakota Fanning makes out with Kristen Stewart. And, while the film doesn’t quite regain shock or surprise, The Runaways is actually a pretty decent film that goes way past grrrrl power. It’s ultimately the story of two chicks that wanted to become famous and grew up way too fast. And, okay were maybe exploited by some pervy dudes along the way. Read more about Fanning in corsets after the jump! Add Comment Hot Fun Fine Machine 03/26/2010
![]() What do you do when your friend tries to (allegedly) kill himself and your girlfriend has just left you? Why, you band together with your distanced but still best friends and you take a trip down memory lane--in this case, to a ski lodge where you were once champions of the lady world. And heck, while you're there, ain't no harm in all hopping naked into a hot tub with one another and getting totally wrecked. Or is there? Watch out, because if you're not careful, you might just wake up with a slammin' headache in the year 1986! Read more after the jump! Full disclaimer: this review of How to Train Your Dragon is about the boring, ol’ 2D version. The 3D screening was in the wee hours of the morning during South by Southwest, and I didn’t drag my drunken ass out of bed. I apologize. I was just as sad as you are. That being said…How to Train Your Dragon is hopelessly adorable—like baby kittens turned into animated dragons adorable. I turned to Greg multiple times to let out a ‘tween girl squeal—that’s how cute this movie was. However, if you’re going sans little munchkin, you may be bored at some of the kiddie jokes. And if you are going with small kids, they may get restless as was indicated by all the questioning youngsters ruining my movie going experience at the screening. Needless to say, fun was had by almost all. Read more about kitten dragons after the jump! Jay Baruchel is out of his league 03/12/2010
![]() I am typically of the mindset that famous funny guys aren’t any funnier than class clowns, they just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I’ve been to panels with Seth Rogan and Danny McBride, and I walked away thinking they weren’t any funnier than I was; they just had good writers and knew how to deliver their lines well. She’s Out of My League has taught me how important actors really are. Writer John Anders and John Morris put together a nice story that, although predictable, lent itself to some funny situations. Unfortunately Jay Baruchel isn’t funny at all and should never be called upon to carry a movie. T.J. Miller, who plays his friend “Stainer,” is a homeless man’s Jon Heder that mucked up a bunch of jokes that should have been hilarious but came out flat. The whole time I kept thinking that if Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell were the leading men I would be laughing my ass off. Read more after the jump! Almost Great Zone 03/11/2010
![]() Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller (Matt Damon) is done following orders after faulty secret intelligence keeps putting him and his men in dangerous situation after dangerous situation with nothing to show for it. Miller is hunting down WMDs in Saddam Hussein's Iraq but has come up with zilch. Before being led on another wild goose chase, Miller partners up with a CIA official on a quest for the truth. The reason we were led to Iraq was because we were led to believe in these WMD's, but 7 years later we all know there weren't any there. What director Paul Greengass and Academy Award-winner Brian Helgeland have done with the book "Imperial Life in the Emerald City: Inside Iraq's Green Zone", is taken an equal mix of fact and grand conspiracy/fantastic wishful thinking and created a taut suspenseful action packed thinking man's movie. Read more after the jump! Brooklyn's...eh...so so 03/04/2010
It’s nearly impossible to go into a movie without preconceived notions these days. Not only does Hollywood love to rest on its laurels, it is also the only business that goes out of its way to point it out to you. Taglines such as ‘from the visionary director who brought you Training Day’ is basically like saying ‘this guy made a movie you really liked 9 years ago, and even though he has made six more that were so mediocre we’re not going to mention them here, this one is going to be his best work yet!’ Sorry, but that isn’t going to convince me to see a movie, it actually makes me nervous that the movie itself is so bad that you have to promote the director’s previous work over the actual movie itself. Add in the reports that Brooklyn’s Finest is one of those films with a bunch of well-known actors came together and took a pay cut because they liked the script so much and wanted to work together, and you’ve got a recipe for a turd sandwich. Read more AFTER the jump! ![]() Tim Burton and children’s story books. For me this combination hasn’t worked so well in the past (cough, Charlie Bucket). But, by the time the cute little Dormouse plunges his sword into a Bandersnatch's eyeball, rips the beast's eye meatout of its socket and carries the trophy around on his belt, it becomes more than apparent that Burton's creation is NOT the Disney Alice of the 1950s. And that makes this pairing of the whimsical tale and the dark, quirky director all the better. DON'T WORRY THAT YOU JUST LEFT YOUR KIDS HOME ALONE WITH DRUGS--READ MORE AFTER THE JUMP! | Archives
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