Charlie St. Cloud
If Zac Efron wants to be taken seriously by moviegoers who aren’t 13-year-old girls, he’s going to have to do more than sit-ups. Charlie St. Cloud is the High School Musical star’s latest attempt at serious acting, but it offers little to redeem itself to anyone other than his prepubescent fan base.

Efron plays Charlie, a college-bound boy who miraculous survives a car accident that kills his kid brother. Following his brush with the other side, Charlie seems to be granted the ability to communicate with the dead. Abandoning his college ambitions, Charlie takes up a job in a graveyard, where he has daily hangout sessions with the spectral version of his brother. Things get complicated for the siblings as Charlie finds a love interest and a Nicholas Sparks-esque romance develops. What follows is a mess without explanation, that may or may not result in Zac Efron banging a ghost.

Director Burr Steers (Igby Goes Down, 17 Again), who seems to have his sights set on becoming a poor man's John Hughes, again focuses on the difficulties surrounding the transition from youth to the grown-up world. He manages to throw in some pretty visuals, but it’s not enough to distract from the weak plot and Efron’s under-developed acting chops.

Unlike The Sixth Sense, Charlie St. Cloud is a supernatural tale that doesn’t play by its own rules and, by the conclusion, you’re left trying to figure out an incoherent mess with vague religious overtones that seems to have no sensible explanation.

Efron spends most of the film sailing or working in the graveyard, both which provided him ample opportunities to shed his shirt. If that’s enough for you, you may be satisfied. Otherwise, Charlie St. Cloud is a silly and sentimental supernatural wannabe tearjerker that can’t play by its own rules.

—Eric Pulsifer
 
 
Inception
I’m having an incredibly difficult time sitting down to write this Inception review. Much like Christopher Nolan’s Memento, this film sits with you far longer than the hours you spend in the theater, and it’s a film that takes some time to mull over—not only just the plot but the imageries as well. And if any critic tells you they can easily critique Inception with just one viewing is a bold-faced liar. It is a film that takes repeated viewings merely to scratch away at the layers of complexity that unfold before your eyes. If this sounds hard to digest, however, fret not, movie goer. Inception is definitely a summer blockbuster disguised as a thinky, sci-fi drama. It has all the action and visual effects you crave, but, unlike most of the movies this summer, it is wholly original and a fantastic voyage to embark upon.

Read more AFTER the jump!
 
 
Despicable Me
I wish there was a way for the little boy who sat behind me at Despicable Me to write this review. Because it shouldn't matter what I think; despite Hollywood's best efforts to make movies that appeal to both children and adults (the future father in me is very grateful for this), these movies are ultimately made for kids.

As a film critic I'm conditioned to analyze character development, cinematography, and a bunch of other crap that won't affect that little boy's enjoyment of the movie at all. While I sat calmly in my seat and watched the movie, he bounced around and squealed when it looked like 3D was popping off the screen. He giggled at fart jokes and laughed uninhibited when Dr. Gru's minions made a joke. He even rebuked the characters on the screen when they thought Dr. Gru wouldn't make it. "Oh yes he will!" he said loud enough for the entire theater to hear. And when you look at the movie from his perspective, it was pretty damn good!

It might not resonate with adults the way that Kung Fu Panda or Toy Story 3 did, but it is a fun, mindless escape. And for that reason I applaud it.

Read MORE after the jump!
 
 
The Last Airbender
I love going into a movie with absolutely NO expectations because either way I’ll be okay. If it’s good, it completely rocks my world, and if it’s bad then I still have a good time. I’m glad I went into The Last Airbender with no expectations and nary a scrap of what the plot contained because the movie is just merely so-so. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it—I had a fairly good time watching the special effects—but when I dive just a little deeper and try to look at the film from a critical eye, it doesn’t measure up. However, I feel like M. Nigh Syamalan’s adaptation is one really good commercial for the Nickelodeon animated series, and THAT I have high expectations for.

Read MORE after the jump!

 
 
twilight eclipse
As you may recall from last year’s New Moon review, I’m not a big fan of the Twilight Saga or the whole Mormon vampire phenom in general. So if you’re looking for a subjective review, you’re probably not going to find it here. But considering this is probably the best Twilight outing of the series thus far, you might be surprised at how much I didn’t just outright loathe this film.

Before I get into the good bits of Eclipse, however, let me first reiterate why I firmly believe this series is destroying America—teenage girls in particular. First of all, it’s repeated several times that if Bella (Kristen Stewart) has sex with Edward (Robert Pattinson) that she will lose her soul. No joke. Second of all, Bella is begging for Edward to turn her into a vampire, meaning she will literally give up her life for this dude. Thirdly, Edward is downright obsessive with Bella. It freaks me out, and I’m probably a high maintenance lady.  It’s creepy. So what messages are we sending to all the screaming girls out there? That they should look for an obsessive boyfriend who they should give up their entire lives for? But watch out, you wouldn’t want to lose your virtue by expressing your sexuality!

Anyhoo. Now that my feminist bitchfest is out of the way, onto the rest of the review where, as I mentioned already, I don’t completely bash the shit out of Eclipse!
 
 
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I’m going to step out on a limb here, folks. Toy Story 3 may be the best Pixar film ever made. Allow that to marinate for a bit. While The Incredibles was, well, incredible, and WALL-E was breathtakingly sweet, Toy Story 3 has the hidden perk of nostalgia to go along with its impeccable storytelling, beautiful animation, and wonderful voice acting. While that robot flick fell apart once we reached the human space station and Up crumbled once old men started fighting with their teeth, Toy Story 3 is insanely solid through and through. It is so much more than a child’s film, which is ironic considering it’s a  movie about children’s playthings (Woody’s words, not mine)—it’s a cinematic feat that will likely touch the hearts and imaginations of all the adults in the audience while still entertaining the kiddos. Be prepared, though; you might even shed a tear or two…

Read more about the cinematic quality of Toy Story 3 AFTER the jump.
 
 
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While most tikes in the '80s were wearing out copies of kid-friendly cartoons on VHS, the movies I grew up on were scary as hell. My father's genre of choice has always been horror, and during the decade-and-a-half when I had little to no say in the evening's entertainment, the two of us sprawled out on the living room floor and watched nearly every scary TV show or video released in the horror section of our local video store at least once. Being brought up on a diet of buckets of blood and boobs circa 1985 (blame evolution or casting directors, but they're notably different than modern boobs) makes me hopeful whenever I see a promising trailer like the one for sci-fi thriller Splice.

In those 90 seconds, I could still hold out hope that the genre responsible for the stupid shit that kept me up at night as a child (The Brain, The Gate, Gremlins) matured with my taste in film, offering solid scares but finding a way to work in a reasonable plot and at least an attempt at acting.

Does Splice deliver? More after the jump.
 
 
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From what I know about the videogame Prince of Persia is that you can do cool running-up-walls moves while pretending that you’re a parkour badass and that you can stop time. That’s the extent of my knowledge. Just knowing that, it’s safe to say that Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is a pretty faithful adaptation of the video game. In fact, it may be one of the best video game adaptations ever. The plot is easy to follow, the fight scenes are pretty bitchin’, and you can easily sit back and simply enjoy a fun action flick.

Sure, you have to ignore the fact that the two “Persian” leads are the whitest actors of all time, and, okay, Jake Gyllenhaal’s accent is atrocious. But if you resign yourself to put aside these two factors, there shouldn’t be anything standing in the way of your enjoyment of Prince of Persia.

Read more after the jump!
 
 
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I loved Sex and the City the show; however, the first SATC film shat upon the memory of my beloved show, forsaking sex, love, and, above all else, friendship for a film where a main character defecates in her pants. I couldn’t put my finger on why the first film rubbed me the wrong way—it was almost as if the characters that worked so well on the small screen became gross caricatures that were unwelcome to me at the Cineplex. So, going into the sequel, I had high hopes that this film could resuscitate the story for me. Luckily no one pooped their pants, but Michael Patrick King and Sarah Jessica Parker most certainly took a dump on those dreams.

SATC 2 picks up where the last film ended: Carrie (Parker) and Big (Chris Noth) are settling into marriage, while deciding on what wedded bliss looks like sans baby; Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) and Steve (David Eisenberg) are juggling Miranda’s hectic work schedule and angry boss with their family life; Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is struggling with the trials and tribulations of raising two young daughters; and Samantha (Kim Catrall) is trying to stave off menopause by ingesting hormones by the fistful. So when Samantha gets offered an all expenses paid vacay to Abu Dhabi, she brings her ladies for extravagant lady bonding and wacky shenanigans. While in the Middle East, Carrie runs into old flame Aidan (John Corbett) and old emotions resurface.

Read more after the jump!
 
 
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Bazil has a rough life. As a child,  he was orphaned by a roadside mine that killed the only family he had. Sure that's a tough pill to swallow but presently Bazil seems alright. He works at a video stores and consumes copious amounts of what he loves most: film. That is until one fateful day, when a stray bullet randomly finds its way crashing through the video shop's front window and straight into Bazil's brain. He survives, but not completely unscathed, and when he tries to return to his normal life he soon finds he has been replaced at the video shop, and his place of residence has evicted him. So Bazil turns to the streets where he is soon taken in by a band of weirdos, each with a very specific skill set. They work together and provide for one another, and Bazil assumes his role well until his car breaks down and he finds himself between two monolithic buildings baring emblems of the two weapons of destruction that  ruined his life. Bazil's resolve? Take em down. But his way--with some zany Micmacs, or shenanigans.

Read more after the jump!